Why Anxiety Feels Worse at night (& what you can do about it)

When the world quiets down, your mind turns up the volume. 

You’ve had a full day. Your finally in bed, ready to rest… when suddenly, your brain decides it’s the perfect time to replay every awkward thing you’ve EVER said (yeah that moment from third grade… it’s coming back, loud and clear). Not only this but your mind begins to worry about tomorrow and questions your life choices up to this point. 

Does this sound familiar? 

You are not alone. Many people find that their anxiety feels worse at night, just when they need rest and calm the most. 

Understanding why this happens is the first step to easing it. 

Why anxiety often spikes at night. 

Fewer Distractions

During the day, we’re busy (working, texting, scrolling, talking). At night, things slow down. If you’ve been pushing anxiety aside with distractions all day night is when your mind has the space to bring anxiety to your attention. 

Your nervous needs time to relax

If you’ve been go-go-go all day, stressed and worried, your body cannot quickly switch from this mode to rest mode. You have been building your cortisol and adrenaline all day and your nervous system needs time to slow down and enter relax mode. 

Worry feels productive (even though it’s not)

You may lay there in bed tricking yourself into thinking your solving all your problems but in reality you are just spinning yourself in more anxiety. Doing this often may accidentally train your brain to experience increased levels of anxiety when in bed as these two things are now associated. 

Sleep disturbance is a symptom of anxiety

Having difficulty with sleep is an identified symptom of long term anxiety. Interestingly, these two things are bidirectional, which is a fancy science word that means they both influence each other. That is, lack of sleep can increase anxiety AND anxiety can make it harder to sleep. It makes sense that you might find yourself trapped between anxiety and difficulty sleeping. 

What can you do when anxiety hits before bed.

Some therapist back tools to help mind and body settle

Name what is happening (not what’s wrong)

Trying saying to yourself: “ I notice i’m having the a feeling of anxiety” or “ I notice i’m having the thought that  ________”. This can help create space between yourself and the anxious thoughts. 

Important to remember: anxious thoughts are just that, thoughts - not facts!

Ground yourself

Bring attention to your physical body- do this without judgement, just curiosity in what shows up. Is there tension somewhere? Do you feel warm or cold? Is a part of your body wanting more attention than another? 

Bring awareness to the space around you: what can you hear, notice the texture of your sheets, take some slow deep breaths. 

Give yourself 30-minutes.

If you’ve been tossing and turning trying to fall asleep for about 30 minutes -> get up and do something calming. Do your absolute best to not pick up your phone or turn on a TV. Instead try some stretching, reading, drinking tea. Once you feel settled try again to fall asleep. 

It’s important that throughout this process you stay compassionate towards yourself. Judgement, shame and blame will only work to make the anxiety louder. Talk to yourself like you would a friend.

When to reach out for help

If your anxiety before bed is happening often or if its starting to affect your sleep, focus or energy, therapy can help. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 

Online therapy offers a space to unpack what’s fueling your anxiety and learn ways to quiet the noise, not by fighting your thoughts rather by changing your relationship to them. 

Final thought: 

Nighttime anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your mind is trying to keep you safe, even when it’s choosing the wrong timing. With awareness and the right support, you can retrain your body and mind to rest again. 

Anchor & Align Psychotherapy offers online therapy for anxiety, overthinking and self-doubt.